Versus

from Versus by Free Tillman

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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Adjusting Each Others Crowns, Undiscovered Colors, The Ground Moved When They Jumped, Free Lunch, Vol. 3: Rap Ballads, Free Lunch, Vol. 2: Salad, Free Lunch, Vol. 1: Fish, BLACK, Sweet Dreams, and 7 more. , and , .

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lyrics

I was in a grocery store picking out a watermelon, After I had basically picked out the one I wanted an old man in a scooter rolled up to me and completely unprompted told me that he had a friend from Texas that told his the secret to picking the best watermelon. Before I continue with the story I just want to let you know that this man was White and he was wearing a Trump hat. Anyway, he told me that the secret was the size of the yellow spot on the underside of the melon. The bigger the spot the longer it had been on the ground and the sweeter the melon. Shortly after that a Latina woman who I assumed was his wife picked up one of the watermelons and displayed the size I should be looking for. She also told me the difference between male and female watermelons. Male watermelons are elongated and watery, whereas female watermelons are more symmetrical and sweet. I thanked them for their time and they went on their way.

If he has asked I would have told him that I was from Texas too. And that it’s not just the spot on the watermelon but the color too. The more yellow and creamy the color the better. Also watermelon bear both male and female reproductive units. The male and female thing is just an easy way to remember sizes.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I didn’t learn anything new from this interaction I came away from it with the same amount of information as I had going in. Wearing a hat doesn’t make you evil and if you actually want to help people first you should ask them how you can be helpful otherwise we’re just going to keep fighting. Us versus them